Girl drama sucks. Plain and simple. When you are the mother of a girl you get to hear just how bad the world is. Nobody likes your girl, the world is out to get her. It can be heart breaking and maddening all at the same time.
My daughter has struggled with friendships most of her life. She tends to gravitate towards younger boys (in the 5-7 age range) or older girls (teens). She just can’t seem to relate to girls her own age. And she has been this way all her life. She’s in 3rd grade this year, and is really trying to make an effort to have more girl friends.
Her first good friend was B. We met B when her ad her sister started karate with us. My daughter and B hung out all the time and things were great. B’s dad was a bit creepy, I’ll just say. He stood too close when he talked and just gave off a wierd vibe. But my daughter loved B, so I dealt with my uncomfortablness for her sake. one day B spent the night. At 2am, they came in to my room, freaking out over a spider. B called her mom to pick her up. B won’t speak to my daughter now. I feel like there must be more to it, but all parties involved are saying that B is afraid of spiders and because my all animal (and bug) loving daughter wanted to take the spider outside instead of killing it, B wont speak to her now.
Next there was A. A is a good kid, if not a bit high strung. She is a leader. And Alpha Female. The group has to be doing what she wants to do, or she will refuse to join. She also tends t get girls to side with her. She’s one of those girls. I can’t say I was disappointed when that friendship fell apart. A exhausted me. I can imagine she was a drain for my poor daughter as well. The final straw was after a sleepover that we had. A was invited, but not allowed to spend the night because I’m not Christian (yes, I’m serious). She had to leave by 9:30. After school got back in after the sleep over, A was convinced that everyone must have talked about her while she was gone. So she told everyone else in class that my daughter was a liar and was talking about her behind her back. I was so proud of my girl. The teachers were trying to patch things up and my daughter said “I really don’t have time for head games. If she doesn’t want to be my friend that’s fine with me. I did nothing wrong and I wont apologize”.
Her next 2 friends are Z and J. They actually went through the whole mess with A and in the end, choose my daughter. They stood by her when everyone else was siding with A. Great girls!
Last week during spring intersession, Z came over to spend the day. The next day J came over. Then my daughter went to stay the night with J on Friday night.
This weekend, J’s mother is throwing J a surprise party. All the girls will be under the same roof. I’m thinking of picking up copies of The Care and Keeping of Friends for all the girls. I don’t want to step on any mothers toes though. My intent is not to parent these girls, but to help them keep their friendships intact. Friends get you pretty far in life.