I have officially become the cold-hearted bitch I have been accused of being for years now.
My MIL remarried after my FIL died. She was married for 3 yrs before it all came crashing down. Back in August, she filed for divorce. They circumvented the NC law stating you have to be separated for a year. By simply lying. They said that he had moved out a year earlier. The ball as rolling. All she wanted was her house and land ) that was hers bought and paid for prior to the marriage). All he supposedly wanted was for her to sign off any rights she may have to his retirement. Done and done, and by mid-Sept the divorce was final.
That brings us into nearly Dec. During this time, my MIL has done nothing to try to improve her situation. I have tried to help her and been turned down. As it turns out he “left her” with $10K in debt and no income. Apparently they had just installed a new AC unit on the house and put it on a credit card. Now he is gone, and she is stuck with the bill. Now there are things she could do, but she wont. Instead she sits in her house and complains. She complains that she has nothing. That no one wants to be around her. That her “boys” all have their own families to deal with. She wont help herself. I even offered to buy her a car so she could go out and find work so she could get on her feet. Nope, wont take it. Comes up with excuse after excuse on how that wont work. She is waiting for her survivor’s benefits from my FIL to kick back in. She lost then when she remarried. All things say she should be able to get them back, but this is the government we are talking about. Meanwhile, she should be trying to help herself.
Well, the kicker now is that we are giving her money. Money she will undoubtedly refuse. I’m sure the check will sit on her table and she will refuse to cash it. I should just give her cash. This is supposed to help get her through January when her benefits should hopefully get reinstated.
In the meantime though, she has thrown the ultimate passive-aggressive guilt trip onto my poor husband. She told him that she is going to just get everything turned off, phone, electric, heat, everything. Then she will sell the house and land. Then she is going to just kill herself. She’s gonna sell the land to make it “easier” on the boys (My husband and BIL) because they can just divide the money instead of having to worry about the land. My husband believes her to be serious. So what can I say. She’s his mom. I think it’s a way to get him to pick her over me and the kids. And he will pick her every time, because she is his mom and he feels that we will always be ok, but he has to help her right now.
So in an attempt to not be the bad guy, I have told my husband I will do whatever he needs me to do to help her. I will bite my tongue and not say what I really feel. I also made it clear though, that I will NOT tolerate being disrespect by her. She makes me very angry, because her decisions not only affect her, but my husband, my children, and myself. I think she is being very selfish and it’s really hard for me to deal with it all right now.

UPDATE – Furthering my theory that she has no plans to off herself, I spent the day with her today and she was rather upbeat, all things considered. I also learned that she has $1200 sitting in the bank. Supposedly $1000 is earmarked for taxes, and then $10K for the debt on the credit card. So I’m giving her my savings when she has money just sitting there. But she is so bad off that she wants to kill herself. Yeah, I’m a cold-hearted bitch.