Ramblings of a Wayward Goddess

For my own mental health, I just can’t do this anymore.

Yesterday was already a bad day, but it got worse as the night progressed. And maybe I’m being unfair since the drama that showed up on my doorstep wasn’t really mine, just mine by proxy. It still effected me and my family.

At 10pm my doorbell rang. We are homebodies. People dont visit during the light of day and they certainly dont come knocking when all the lights are out. My daughter met me in the hall and said “It’s the neighbor, something’s wrong” I went to the door to find my neighbor standing with her baby on her hip dressed in sweatpants and a torn bra. She was shaking and crying and needed me to call the police.

The story that unfolded was more than my head could take. Her situation is not mine to judge but I can say that from my experience it was caused by youth and naivety.

Her husband is military. He’s out of state right now at schooling in Texas. She had a male friend that, according to what she told my daughter, her husband hated and told her he could only come over if he wasn’t there. He showed up as soon as the husband left and has been a fixture there since. Like I said, not my place to judge. Her situation is her own. I guess she asked him to leave today. He went out drinking. Came back, they argued. He wouldn’t leave so she grabbed her daughter to try to make a run for it. When she got in her car he blocked her in then pulled her out of the car and was hitting her. He pulled her clothes and ripped them off. She was able to get away and grab her baby and run to mt house. AT which point he grabbed her keys and locked her car and her house and left.

I called the police for her and they sent someone over. She was giving them his information when he came back. The police were able to chase after him and arrest him.

Meanwhile, the police station calls me back. Someone in her family had called the police station trying to find out what was going on. In the time that he was locking her out of the house he called everyone in her phone book and gave them all the sordid details of what was going on.

By 11:45 the police were ready to take her to the station to file charges.

I should also mention that her 2yr old doesn’t know me and is going through that stage where she doesn’t want to be around anyone she doesn’t know. Every time my neighbor went to talk to police, she left the baby here and she would scream as though I was killing her. The screaming woke up my other 2 kids who were upset that they had been woke up. It’s also exam week. My 13yr old was actually mad and crying because he thought I was having some sort of party and was pissed that I was letting all this happen and keeping him awake. When they took her to the police station she asked if she could leave the baby with me. I hated to, but I had to say no. There as nothing I could do to comfort that child and i had to think of my own at that point.

I can understand what this woman is going through. I’ve been in that same position. I’ve had a man stand between me and my child and not let me get to him. I’ve jumped in a car trying to flee only to be pulled out. I’ve  been through all of this while not having one single person I could turn to. I understand. I was also young and naive and thought the best of people even when they showed me their worst. It was a long hard struggle to get to where I am now.

Where I am now is torn between helping this virtual stranger and keeping my kids from that kind of drama

After waiting for the rug to be pulled out from under me and finally relaxing a little and accepting that things were actually going to work out for us and this house….the fucking rug got ripped out from under us.

My Realtor never got the loan approval letter from our buyer so when she went to get it today she was told that he just found out he was being transfered and wouldn’t be able to but the house. She thinks he’s lying and wants a letter from his employer. But really, so what if he is lying. If he pulls out, he pulls out. The best that can happen is I get to keep his measly $500 earnest money.

Meanwhile, we’ve been working towards getting our loan solidified for the house in Ga. That’s what I was worried about. The seller there has been such a flake that I thought something would happen there, but all of that worked out. Our loan was approved, the seller signed everything she needed to sign. Things were going well.

We can’t own 2 houses. We can’t afford it, and our loan is contingent on the sale of this house.

I thought I was done fighting. Looks like I was just warming up.

My blog isn’t much of a “mommy blog”. I don’t really feel like I talk that much about my kids. My youngest is 8 and they up to 11 and 13 from there. They have long passed these milestones that people are recording in their blogs.

Sometimes I wish I had been blogging when they were little. I was on message boards, but I’m discovering that it’s not the same as carving out my own piece of the internet.

Random strangers congratulated me on the birth of my youngest. More strangers saw me through that first year, and my husband leaving for a travel job. I turned to the boards for adice, support, wisdom. I relayed funny stories. Now, all of that is gone. Message boards change and fall. Posts get deleted. Whole groups disapear. People come and go. And you really have no control over any of it.

My 11yr old daughter will ask me every now and then…”Remember when I….?” and some times I don’t. It would be great to have archives to read through and laugh and remember that funny story.

The current trend seems to be Down with Mommy Bloggers. The critics say that these moms are pimping out their kids for a paycheck. While it’s true that some moms make a good profit off their blogs, many more don’t make a dime, or make just enough to cover their domain costs. No, more so these women are leaving behind easily retrievable memories. When their kids say “Remember when….” not only can they say “yes I remember”, but they can take their kids to the computer and relive the event through their blog.

The Baby Book has found a new medium.

I got a phone call today.

That’s not completely accurate. I got THE phone call today.

We have an offer.

I met my Realtor at her office and looked over everything. It’s not spectacular, but it’s well within our do-able range. We had just dropped the price $7,000 and they offered $3,500 under that, which is what buyer’s do. They also want all us to pay all of their closing costs. Like I said, it’s not spectacular, but it’s still do-able. We still walk away with a profit. The want to close in 4 weeks on June 16th.

Our contract in Ga is supposed to close on June 16th. I’m going to see if they will let us push it one day so we can close here and drive down there.

Now the fun part comes. Holding my breath and praying that nothing unexpected comes up during inspections. Getting our financing finalized for GA (we are pre-approved). PACKING!

I’ve done my part, I sold the house. Now it’s my husband’s turn to take care of the money part.

I don’t need no one
to tell me about Heaven
I look at my daughter
and I believe

Daughter – Live

Stuff Portrait Day brought to you by Kristine at Random and Odd. This week’s theme, song lyrics. I love this song.
Did you play?

So, Friday was a bad day. My husband flew home from NYC and rented a car at the airport. He was only going to be home for the weekend before flying back out to Tampa, fl and his company car in still in ATL. Confused yet?

Anyway, rented a car, came home. We picked the younger two kids up from school, went back home and met the oldest getting off the bus. My husband was “bored” and wanted to go do something. He planned on taking the kids out for ice cream then taking them to Walmart to buy something. He’s the fun parent.

So, off we went. That’s when the hit and run happen. See below.

We are all ok.

I’m still pissed by this man’s total lack of moral compass.

So, we get home and I UPS arrives with the Mother’s Day present I bought myself. I refer to it as the Dooce Bag.

Also seen here. And envied here. Which is where I first saw it and decided I HAD TO HAVE IT!

Although her her bag is a different pattern that mine, it’s the same bag.
And, It’s awesome. So much better than even the picture can so. I could easily fit a small child in there. I made sure to thank my husband and children for their thoughtfulness for such a wonderful gift. They all just nodded in agreement.

Then, Saturday, we spent the day finishing all those projects around the house that depsperatly needed to be done. A piece of trim along the back roofline needed to be replace, then it all needed to be repainted. I pulled all the grass out of my flower bed. Why I can grow grass in the flowerbed but not in the actual yard is a mystery, but hopefully will soon be someone else’s problem.

We both pretty much collapsed with exhaustion by the end of the day.

Sunday, we had invited my MIL and her “Gentleman Friend” to a late lunch for Mother’s Day. This was a feat in magnanimity for me seeing as how the two of us simply do not get along. The meal was nice and uneventful. We went to a really great locally owned steak house. The bill was insane.

After lunch/dinner, my husband and I went to see Iron Man. This is where I break out in Nelson’s rendition of Iron Man:

I am Iron Man

do do do do do do do

Vote for me

The movie was FANTASTIC. Really the best comic book turn movie I’ve seen. Robert Downy Jr was perfect for the role. I love how it was updated. The computer and robots made me laugh.

Our weekend was rounded out by a 6am flight to Tampa on Monday. My husband was up and out of the house by 3am to drive the hour to the airport. He’s staying out for 2 weeks which is going to drive me crazy. He was just out for 3 weeks this last time.

So, as for the house situation. I’m starting to panic a bit. The back up offer we made has now gone into effect. We have 2 weeks to walk away without loosing our earnest money. Also, 2 weeks to get all of the inspections and stuff done. However, we still haven’t sold THIS house. Haven’t even gotten an offer yet. We did have a showing this morning that I feel positive about. I hope I hear something soon. At this point I’d honestly take just about anything just to get out of this house. I’m ready to have my husband back. 8yrs is long enough.

After my husband came home today, we went for lunch, then picked the kids up from school. We were on our way to get ice cream and going down a side road that’s pretty heavily traveled. The speed limit is 35, but no one ever goes 35. Dennie was driving (the rental car) and going about 45 and this guy was tailgating us BAD. So, Dennie slowed down to 35, the speed limit, just as a way to say “Hey buddy, slow the fuck down”. We got to a stop light and the guy got in the turning lane. We went straight and suddenly this guy was behind us again. We think he got in the turn lane to try to get around us, but then couldn’t because of traffic. Anyway, he’s still tailgating us. Someone stopped in front of us to turn. We stopped. This guy didn’t. He hit us. Dennie put the car in park, expecting to get out and get insurance info, etc. This guy swerves around us and TAKES OFF. We put the car in drive and start following him and he’s FLYING. Going through stop signs, running red lights. We couldn’t keep up with him. All the time, Dennie is yelling at me to “Call 911″. I left my phone at home and his was in his pants pocket so I’m yelling “Where’s your fucking phone?” I finally got the phone and called the police, but we had already lost him at that point so we pulled over and waited for the police officer. We filed a report, but unfortunately we could never get close enough to get a license plate number so the chances are slim to none that this guy will get caught.
It pisses me off, not that he hit us, because accidents happen, but that he could just leave like that. Actively trying to get away. We had KIDS in the car. What if someone had been hurt. He just didn’t give a shit. What kind of person does that?
The up side, I guess, is that
It wasn’t my car
It’s covered under the companies insurance since they rented it (and they were contacted and are ok with covering it. It’s under the corporate policy anyway)
Everyone is ok

However, it if HAD been my tank, chances are the guy would have been stuck under my bumper and unable to get away.

I am sore. My head, neck and shoulders are stiff. I have a chiropractor that I see regularly anyway, so I will probably take everyone to see him on Monday., It kinda pisses me off that it will be on my dime since this guy got away.