Ramblings of a Wayward Goddess

My best friend for, forever has been engaged to a man for 3 yrs. this man is NO GOOD! He has played games with her and treated her like crap for just about as long as they have been together. he will disappear for weeks at a time, then pop back up with some lame ass excuse as to where he has been.
Once last year she got a phone call in the middle of the night from his cell phone. It was his ex-wife, and she was going on about how she was outside of “some hoochie’s” apartment and Ray’s truck was there and he was inside with this girl. And that she (the ex) had broken into ray’s truck to get the alarm going (my friend could hear it in the background) so he woudl come out, and that she was using his cell phone to call my friend so that she would know it was really the truth.
Ok, a few days later, ray pops up with this story about how his daughter and him went on a surprise trip to Puerto Rico, and his ex-wife was keeping the truck just because it was easier that way and that he was going to call but he had left his cell phone in his truck accidently and that his ex was just trying to cause trouble. I thought it was a lame story and that she was being played and told her as much, but of course, he convinced her and she took him back.
Now, thier wedding was planned for Dec. she went through all the arragnments, bought a dress, booked the place, hired caterers, DJ’s photographers, the works. She doesn’t even have a ring yet. Normally that woudln’t be a huge deal, I think othe rthings are more important than a ring, but SHE has told him it was important to her and that she wanted one. Seems he would try to make the woman he loves and wants to marry so badly happy, wouldn’t it?
Anyway, he’s been gone for a while, supposedly in Kansas doing some training (he is military, but supposedly the kind of military that never gets called to go to war??) She called and told him that because he hasn’t been around to met with teh peacher and have thier pre-marital counseling, that they were gonna have to post-pone the wedding until spring.
On Nov 11, he called her while she was on er way to work and said, very bluntly, It’s over, i’m done, don’t call me, don’t email me, don’t text me, my ex and i are getting back together to try to make it work for my daughter’s sake.
They she got all these text messages from his ex and daughter saying the same thing. She has been a wreck since. Not eating, crying constantly, the works. i feel bad for her, having her heart broken and all. but here’;s the kicker. he just sent her this email……

I’m sorry for the way I ended things. I’m getting ready to go to Iraq on the 3 Dec 05. I felt like I have taken up enough of your time waiting on me to come home so I decided to say what I said to you. I didnt mean it. I still LOVE You Very much/ No me and my x is not back together. My daughter have my cell phone. I left it at here moms house this weekend. Send me an email about your feelings.

She is considering taking the asshole back! i can’t just sit here and listen to her talk about how much she loves him and how he apparently loves her and that bitch of an ex keeps getting between them. She is laying all the blame on the ex. I just want to smack her until she wakes up and sees what’s right in front of her. i can’t do that though. cause she doesn’t want to hear it. I already told her that she needed to consider everything that has been happening before she emails him back, but I know that by the end of the week I’m gonna hear how they are back together and so happy.
I just can not sit her and be happy for her. It’s too much. I’m a crappy friend.

I have officially become the cold-hearted bitch I have been accused of being for years now.
My MIL remarried after my FIL died. She was married for 3 yrs before it all came crashing down. Back in August, she filed for divorce. They circumvented the NC law stating you have to be separated for a year. By simply lying. They said that he had moved out a year earlier. The ball as rolling. All she wanted was her house and land ) that was hers bought and paid for prior to the marriage). All he supposedly wanted was for her to sign off any rights she may have to his retirement. Done and done, and by mid-Sept the divorce was final.
That brings us into nearly Dec. During this time, my MIL has done nothing to try to improve her situation. I have tried to help her and been turned down. As it turns out he “left her” with $10K in debt and no income. Apparently they had just installed a new AC unit on the house and put it on a credit card. Now he is gone, and she is stuck with the bill. Now there are things she could do, but she wont. Instead she sits in her house and complains. She complains that she has nothing. That no one wants to be around her. That her “boys” all have their own families to deal with. She wont help herself. I even offered to buy her a car so she could go out and find work so she could get on her feet. Nope, wont take it. Comes up with excuse after excuse on how that wont work. She is waiting for her survivor’s benefits from my FIL to kick back in. She lost then when she remarried. All things say she should be able to get them back, but this is the government we are talking about. Meanwhile, she should be trying to help herself.
Well, the kicker now is that we are giving her money. Money she will undoubtedly refuse. I’m sure the check will sit on her table and she will refuse to cash it. I should just give her cash. This is supposed to help get her through January when her benefits should hopefully get reinstated.
In the meantime though, she has thrown the ultimate passive-aggressive guilt trip onto my poor husband. She told him that she is going to just get everything turned off, phone, electric, heat, everything. Then she will sell the house and land. Then she is going to just kill herself. She’s gonna sell the land to make it “easier” on the boys (My husband and BIL) because they can just divide the money instead of having to worry about the land. My husband believes her to be serious. So what can I say. She’s his mom. I think it’s a way to get him to pick her over me and the kids. And he will pick her every time, because she is his mom and he feels that we will always be ok, but he has to help her right now.
So in an attempt to not be the bad guy, I have told my husband I will do whatever he needs me to do to help her. I will bite my tongue and not say what I really feel. I also made it clear though, that I will NOT tolerate being disrespect by her. She makes me very angry, because her decisions not only affect her, but my husband, my children, and myself. I think she is being very selfish and it’s really hard for me to deal with it all right now.

UPDATE – Furthering my theory that she has no plans to off herself, I spent the day with her today and she was rather upbeat, all things considered. I also learned that she has $1200 sitting in the bank. Supposedly $1000 is earmarked for taxes, and then $10K for the debt on the credit card. So I’m giving her my savings when she has money just sitting there. But she is so bad off that she wants to kill herself. Yeah, I’m a cold-hearted bitch.

The Holiday Season is crashing down around us. I believe the holidays would be more pleasurable if 1) they occured in the summer and 2) family wasn’t involved.
It has started. My mother in law called today to get the run down on plans for Thursday. i told her that my husband, her son, would not be getting home from his 6 week trek across the globe until late LATE Tuesday night (Weds morning if you want to get picky) and that he was scheduled to leave again the following Tuesday. Keeping in mind that our daughter’s BIRTHDAY is also on Thursday and that take precident over Thanksgiving anyday, we had really just planned to keep things rather low key, and do whatever my daughter wanted to do that day. Which is go to Golden Corral for dinner, get some cake, then go see a movie. I can do that.
Well, to back it up just a bit, the very first thing she said to me was “Did you enjoy your little trip , referring to my trip to Va and Md to visit my friends. I said yeah, and she replied “You didn’t think I knew about that did you?” I wasn’t aware it was a big secret, but okay. So yeah, I was already a bit on edge.
getting back to Thursday’s plans. Seems some family from out of state is visiting and they “really really want to see [my husband] before they leave. Oh, and you guys too”. Urgh. My husband’s grandmother is going through chemo right now and her immune system is shot, so the kids and I are encouraged not to come when my husband visits the out of town family, ecasue we may have been exposed to something. Of course, my husband who has been on airplanes (germ factories) and out of the country (water anyone?) hasn’t “been exposed” to anything apparently.
Holly Jolly Thanksgiving! I can’t wait until she sees the Christmas cards I had printed with the lyrics to Happy Christmas (War is Over) on the inside

My three kids and I went to see Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire this afternoon. The last movie I took all three kids to see was Sharkboy and Lavagirl at the $1 theater (which has raised it’s rates to a buck fifty!). HP, definetly outshined SB&LG. My 10 yr old has read all the books, he always knows what is going to happen in the movies, and, being the budding film snob that is his, points out everything that is changed, left out, or edited between book and screen play. I on the other hand have not read the books. I will, eventually, but I have learned that reading the book first leaves me disappointed in the movies. I really like being surprised by what happens. I also have fun guessing who the ‘bad’ guy is. For that reason, my oldest is NOT allowed to tell me what happens in the books until after we have seen the movies.

Intersting factoid. Clémence Poésy, who plays Fleur Delacour in the newest Potter has been acting since in french movies for some time now. In one, Beinvenue Chez Les Rosez, she appears topless
I’m sure that could be filed under “Old News”, but oh well.

A week ago I was in tears at the thought of my husband going to Saudi Arabia. He’s been before, and while I don’t dance a jig at the thought, I’m usually ok with it. However, if you remember, there were the terrible bombing in Jordon last week. It terriefied me. I didn’t want him to go. Luckily, he called me and said that they had cancelled the trip. Much relief ensued.
Yesterday, I checked my voice mail and he had called to say he would be flying out to Martinique for work. The poor bastard! He always gets the shit jobs. He called me again this morning from the airport and I gave him my consolences. I told him how sorry I was that he was forced to go to the Carribean and miss our 30 degree weather. All I gotta say is, come January, I’m looking at cruises.

The tech guy came out again last week to, again, replace the motherboard in my computer. Good chance that it WASN’T the motherboard. After the motherboard was put in, the computer still wouldn’t work, so the guy started taking things out, then putting things back in one at a time. Process of elimination, looks like my fancy schmancy TV/Radio tuner blew and that’s what caused the computer to not go to post. Of course, I still have monitor issues. At any time it will just turn itself off. It comes right back on, but still. I am supposed to call scanport and have a new monitor shipped out. Pain. In. The. Ass.

I decided to escape reality for a bit this weekend. I went up to Richmond, Va to visit with my oldest internet friend. We met nearly 6 years ago at some cheesy parenting group. hen we decided we were too cool for them and branched out on our own. We try to get together a few times a year. This time, we also went up to Southern Maryland to visit with another friend, also from the internet. Words, really, can’t describe these weekends. They are so much fun, I never want to leave. I don’t get why people who get me so well hav eto live so far away. These are the people I should be spending my days with. I should be headed over for coffee insetad of sitting here typing. We should be seeing each others kids in school productions, and Christmas shopping together. Instead, we share our lives online and get together when we can.

Maybe that’s how it should be. Maybe that makes us love each other more.

Do not ever buy a computer from Viscom. They use cheap ass products and their customer service sucks ass. I bought this computer mid-April, by August my motherboard had blown. It took a MONTH to get it replaced. Fast forward to Tuesday. I turned my computer on and I get nothing. The tower is on, but there is nothing on the monitor, and my keyboard and mouse aren’t lighting up (to indicate that they are working). Wonderful. Call tech support and get attitude. Told hat it was a monitor issue and I had to call a different number. Call that number they determine that yeah, it’s the monitor, they need to contact the manufacturer of the monitor and get then to arrange for a new one To be sent out. Ok, fine, whatever. Meanwhile, I’m thinking that the monitor wouldn’t cause my mouse and keyboard to not work. My neighbor comes over with his laptop and plugs my monitor into it and voila! Monitor works. Ok, so I call the tech support back and explain to them that the monitor works. They say Must be the motherboard. Hmm, odd, since I had the board replaced 2 mths ago. I explain that I really can not be without my computer for another mth. I need to be able to access my files, not to mention internet. I am told, BY TECH SUPPORT “You need to buy a new computer”. Huh? What? So you’re telling me that even though I bought THIS COMPUTER 6 mths ago, I need to buy a NEW computer? So, your product is a piece of crap and so unreliable that I need another computer? Ok, gimme my money back and I will do just that.
I’m currently using my husband’s old computer. When he was in South Africa, the guy he was working with was in a really bad car accident (the guy ended up in a coma) and my husband’s computer bag was n the car. The LCD screen was crushed, and the touchpad doesn’t work anymore, but f I plug my monitor into it, and attach a mouse, I can at least get online. I still don’t have access to MY files, but this is better than nothing. My neighbor also said its possible that my processor is blown as well, so I have no idea when I will be ‘back’.